Tuesday, October 10, 2006

October Mornings

5am? 6am? Over the baby monitor, I hear soft sobs and whispers of "mama, mama, mama". I will my body to rise from the bed and go to the sobbing.

My body retreats from calls of duty, curls deeper in the warmth, smothers the noise with a pillow and drifts off to sleep again. But, the whispers and sobbing return.

Quietly, "mama, mama, mama". The guilt and noise will not be muffled. So, I drag my uncooperative slug of a frame to her room.

Sheepishly, she says, "It's just a little bit dark."

I take her to the couch to cuddle. When sunlight begins to quilt the blankets we stroke, I ask her why she was crying in her crib. A long pause is followed by a gentle, "Because, I wanted you."

She squirms and rearranges our blankets into a heap. I rest my head on the fleecy mound. The weariness is gone.


At 7:39 AM, Blogger jen said...

don't you love that? that moment where your entire body groans and you think there is no way you can do this, and then she's in your arms, and you think there is no way i can not do this, because i've never felt anything so delicious in my entire life.

At 10:03 AM, Blogger J Fife said...

jen - It's those small moments that keep me sane.


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