A popsicle! A popsicle! My kingdom for a popsicle!

In between exaggerated sobs after taking a minor spill last night, she grabs my chin, pulls my face to hers and says, "Maybe a popsicle will make it all better."

There's always talk about the danger of guns and drugs, but no one ever talks about the extreme influence that frozen sugar water on a stick can have on your children.

Popsicles have led my child to exercise severe forms of manipulation. She'll do anything for a few licks of the cold treat. A few mornings ago, she declared from her crib, "It's daytime. Not dark anymore. We can have popsicles!"

Once your child discovers that the icy goodness can also turn her tongue shades of bright green, the road of your life will become a sticky path littered with wooden sticks. You've been warned.