Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Terrible, Terrible Twos

Sarah was a monster today. I realize that negativity is a major characteristic of a two-year old, but this morning, she took all of the worst traits of a toddler, rolled them into a tight ball, popped them in her mouth, soaked them with her spit and smacked us right between the eyes with the slimy wad.

Fit after fit was thrown. "Marshmallows!" She demanded marshmallows for breakfast. When that failed, she insisted on helping me prepare breakfast. No, actually, not helping prepare breakfast. She wanted to do it all by herself. "NO! NO! NO! I do myself!" More screaming and tears. Somehow, I wrestled her to the table and got some food down her throat. When she finished eating, she purposely dipped both hands in her bowl covering them with Cream of Wheat. This led her to demand that her hands be washed. "NOW!" All of my efforts to wash her hands were met with shrieks, because suddenly, she no longer wanted clean hands. Now, she wanted milk. "MILK! NOW! NOW!" I finally just carried the flailing, cereal soaked beast into the bathroom. At which point, she looked me straight in the eye and growled, "I don't like you. Go away!"

Oh, it was a rocky start to our day.


At 1:08 PM, Anonymous Scott said...

I know this might seem crazy but that would be a tame version of the tantrums that James can throw.
Wanna trade?.....lol

At 6:27 PM, Blogger jen said...

I am going through exactly the same version at my place. glass of wine, sister...a big glass of wine to us.

At 3:45 PM, Blogger J Fife said...

scott - I'm so sorry. Aren't these crazy times? I'm sure we're supposed to be learning something from all of this, I'm just not sure what that is. Appreciation of our own parents, maybe?

jen - Good luck! I took your advice and had some wine - two glasses. One for each year of child rearing that we've survived.

At 11:02 PM, Blogger Penny said...

Just found your blog. Enjoyable!

But, I have to tell you, that my two year old was pretty terrible.. however.. .. four is pretty darn intense. The difference? One Sleemans honey brown ale after bedtime then. Now? One Corona with lemon.

They go from stage to stage and the two year olds will turn you into a two year old, too. I totally understand. :)


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