Sunday, March 26, 2006

Of Sticks and Shakers

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived all alone in the Woods of the Unleashed.

This little girl had nothing but a magic stick for poking and a special shaker for, um, shaking. Luckily, these things were all that she needed to ward off the Evil Face Washers.

But, the special shaker and poking stick were powerless against the Stinky-Stinky Mouth Hounds. The Evil Face Washers knew this and made a deal with the Stinky-Stinky Mouth Hounds - "Take the poking stick from the little girl, Stinky-Stinky Mouth Hounds, and an eternal feast of salmon shall be yours."

The darkest Stinky-Stinky Mouth Hound loved salmon so much that he immediately sharpened his stinkiest tooth, found the little girl, and grabbed her poking stick with his stinky-stinky mouth.

Surprised, the little girl scolded the darkest Stinky-Stinky Mouth Hound, "You are a fool. The Evil Face Washer's promise will never be kept. Cookies and balloons aplenty have been offered to me - if I just let them wipe my chin or my cheek. Do you see any of these treats? No! I eat broccoli and dirt clods are my toys. Wait and see. The same trickery awaits you, too."

The Stinky-Stinky Mouth Hounds remembered the Evil Face Washer's lies of the past, "You'll feel so good after your bath" and "The vet is doing this for your own good". Ashamed, they sat at the little girl's feet and vowed to band together to make the lives of the Evil Face Washers unbearable.

So, the little girl buried the poking stick and the special shaker deep in the Woods of the Unleashed and let the stink of the Stinky-Stinky Mouth Hounds guard her from the cleansing hands of the Evil Face Washers.

And, they all lived filthily ever after.

The end.


At 7:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Be rid of those evil face washers!
I believe they were once small
children who hated baths, face
washing and hair coming. Hmmmm...

At 7:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Typo, "hair combing"

At 11:13 AM, Blogger J Fife said...

REJ - Yeah, I've become what I hated. I'm sure grumpiness and grey hair are next.


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