Thursday, November 16, 2006

Vanilla Biscotti

Back in September, I received a lovely email from a woman at Bridge Worldwide, a marketing agency working with Folgers. The email read something like this:

Subject: Folgers Is Interested In Your Blog

Dear J,

Blah, blah, blah, your opinion, blah, blah, blah, no catches, blah, blah, blah, Free Gourmet Coffee, blah, blah, blah, honest review on your blog, blah, blah, blah.

Best regards,

Marketing Person


I couldn't believe my luck. An honest to goodness web crawler had selected me from thousands of other random blogs to be a voice for Folgers. Folgers! We all know that the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup. If I messed this up, it would be like tinkling in the cup of America. I couldn't handle the pressure.

Just as I was about to delete the note, the part about Free Coffee caught my eye again. Oh, I do love coffee. And, free. I really love free. This was a sign. I couldn't turn it down. So, I filled out my request for a sample of Folgers Gourmet Selections.

Last week, my sample arrived. It was a sparkly package of Vanilla Biscotti flavored coffee. Mike immediately brewed that sucker.

Had he not been distracted by the pretty package and taken the time to notice the word flavored on the label, this would have never happened. You see, Mike hates flavored coffee. Given the choice of licking Lola or licking a flavored coffee bean, Lola would get a tongue bath every time.

The truth is that I'm not a big fan either. I like my coffee very strong. The only additives should be cream and sugar. So, Folgers was already behind in this game. Still, we soldiered on.

Mike took his first sip and I pressed him, "What do you think? Do you like it? I can't let Folgers down. We have to give them an honest opinion. Tell me what you think!"

He closed his eyes, rolled the brew in his mouth and said, "It's like sucking a vanilla bean while simultaneously inhaling from an exhaust pipe."

It was bad. It definitely had a vanilla flavor. A strong vanilla flavor. But, something was wrong with the biscotti part. Someone at Folgers must have thought that biscotti was Italian for formaldehyde. The coffee tasted like a cup of vanilla formaldehyde.

Oh, but don't think this stopped me from drinking it. No. I still finished off the entire pot. So, thanks Folgers. I'm always grateful for a cup of coffee.

If you like free and coffee too, you can get a sample and judge for yourself: Give Me Some Free Coffee!



At 5:46 PM, Blogger QT said...

Blech - I'm like you - dark dark strong coffee with just a touch of cream and sugar. You are braver than I....flavored coffe is doomed around here.

At 9:38 PM, Blogger jen said...

mmmmmm..gimme some flavored coffee and i am a happy girl.

you are funny, woman.

At 3:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, no mention of the Big Event?
Happy Birthday to YOU! I'am sure
your blogging community would love
to take part in sharing a Birthday
wish for you. Gotta Go...
I have a pot of regular Folgers
coffee waiting. My review, I have the plastic coffee container. Old
fashion cans please. Do you think
Folgers will read this?

At 3:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was-- I hate the plastic containers. REJ

At 9:14 PM, Blogger J Fife said...

REJ - I doubt Folgers will be stopping by. They already got what they wanted - a good laugh when I agreed to drink their flavored coffee.

Thanks for the happy wishes.

At 9:33 PM, Blogger Kris said...

Um, no thanks! LOL I can go along with flavored coffee, but my mother's like your husband... blech! I should put some in her Christmas stocking, just for a laugh.


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