I'm Not Prepared For This

This was one of those mornings when I felt like I needed to break out all of the child rearing help books on my bookshelf and get some tactics for coping with an unruly toddler asap, but honestly, I'm not sure that anything short of a cattle prod would have helped.

Sarah transformed into the worst caricature of a toddler today - food was thrown, milk was deliberately spilled, everything was "MINE!", she wanted to be held, she didn't want to be held, she flung herself screaming on the floor, she perfected the dead weight stiff as a board maneuver to prevent her diaper from being changed/her shirt from going over her head/her body from going into the car seat, she wanted some banana, she didn't want any banana, shoes were launched across the room, toys were flung at the dogs, "NOOOooooo" over and over again. By the time I dropped her off at daycare, she had to be near dehydration from spilling so many tears.

Mike and I spent the morning exchanging frightened looks and thinking things like, "Where did this monster come from? When is she going away? This is definitely your kid. Mine would never act like this."

I checked her for the usual signs of illness and teething. All negative. So, I flipped through all of my books and scoured the internet. They all point to the same ailment - toddlerhood. Where did we go wrong? I've tried to keep her hands clean. I've stopped her from licking door knobs. You know, it was probably that time I caught her dunking a napkin in the toilet. I probably should have had her vaccinated.

One thing is for sure, another morning like this and it'll be a race between all of us (dogs included) to see who can pack up and escape to Montana fastest.