The Other White Meat?

We've been experimenting with artificial breakfast meats. Hey, we live in California. What do you expect? So far, I've come to the conclusion that Morningstar Breakfast Sausage Links taste like round tubes of cardboard filled with sawdust. Smart Bacon, on the other hand, is delicious! Just consider me your source for the latest happenings in tofu. Next week, we venture into crystal therapy.